Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Some more of Mimi’s friends express their thoughts

From Vern Kinner:

Holli and I returned July 26th from a month-long rail trip and were shocked and saddened to read an e-mail advising that our dear friend Mimi had passed away. 

I have been fortunate to have known Mimi for almost 58 years.  We first met at the Officers Club, James Connally AFB in Waco, Tx. in 1950.  A soiree was planned, attended by local young ladies and the young 2nd Lts.  going through pilot training.  This social event was being covered by a very attractive reporter from the Waco news- paper; her name was Mimi Hicks.  Ty was smitten the first day he met her, beginning a love affair which continues to this day.  Completing basic pilot training, Ty was assigned to Reese AFB in Lubbock and I to Vance in Enid Ok. for advanced training.  We often met in Fort Worth at Mimi's mother's home for weekends.  Later, I was honored to be best man at Mimi and Ty's wedding in the Spring of 1951.  In Au- gust 1951, Ty served as my best man when I married Ann McDer- mott in Larchmont N.Y.  Mimi and Ty joined Ann and me in NYC and at West Point to continue our honeymoons.  Over the years, I was for- tunate to be a guest in their home many times, especially after Ann's un- timely death in 1966.  Then in May of 2003, Mimi and Ty honored me again by attending my wedding to Holli in White Post, Va.

Mimi was a gracious, caring person who was loved by so many and especi- ally by her children and husband.  Holli and I are among those who will dearly miss our wonderful friend........Mimi will live on in our hearts.

From Myrtle Kahn:

I am Myrtle Khan, a friend of Mimi's from Capital Speakers. We met in 1990 and have shared many speeches and lunches since that time. I will always remember Mimi for the sparkle in her eye and her kind and wonderful manner. I remember her enthusiasm when she began the Angel Dolls project and her mystery novel and the care with which she presented her topics or moderated a meeting. I have looked at the many photos of her but there is an image which I carry that is not recorded on the site. I remember her getting into her convertible after one of our meetings, hood down, cap on jauntily, and she drove off a picture of beauty and grace. She was one of the best and she brought out the best in us. We will all miss her. God's Grace Mimi.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

John’s tribute to Mimi

"In the past few days, I have reminisced with many of you about Mimi, and I have been reminded of what a different sort of lady my mother was. And so I would like to share with you what a different sort of mother this lady was.

Mimi never really told me what to do; rather, she taught me how to live. She never really gave me advice; rather, she showed me where to find wisdom.

When I was 10 and returning to the neighborhood covered in mud from a long day of playing in the woods, my friends would talk of the scolding they expected from their mothers about their clothes. I marched on, smiling in silence, happy that my mother had taught me how to do my own laundry when I was eight.

When I was 12 and playing little league, she didn't follow my batting average, but at home she did all she could to make sure I knew the value of fair play. Not many mothers would stay up with their children until one or two in the morning, discussing the worth of the individual, the value of respect, and the hard choices a boy can face on the field or in life. But Mom did. I always played as though she were in the stands, and I always will.

When I was 22 and graduating from college, she never told me what she thought I should do with my life. But after spending my boyhood watching how she approached a challenge, how she viewed adventure, how she saw the world, I didn't need to ask.

She was never one for the long mushy birthday card. They were funny, and usually on time. I think she was always trying to find a better way to love the people in her life, never more so than in how she loved Dad more and more as years went on.

Mom had a love for sayings and quotations, a love which she instilled in me and later in my daughter Elizabeth. When I turned 30, she gave me a notebook filled with many of her favorite sayings, written in her own hand. Good, practical sayings, like:

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." And:

If you tell the truth, you won't have to remember anything, and

"Every job is the self portrait of the one who did it", which I would paraphrase today to say: "Every life is the self portrait of the one who lived it." And, Mom, yours was a masterpiece, with just one corner of the canvas yet to be beautified by your brush.

Thanks, Mom, for the painting lessons.

Bob’s tribute to Mimi

I'm going to talk about Mom's relationship with her sister Fran. They had a very close relationship and would talk nearly everyday on the phone, sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes for an hour.

But they didn't always have such a close relationship. Like many of us, there was a period when they didn't talk. I don't know when it started or when it ended but at some point Mom decided to fix their relationship. She took it on as a project and, over time, eventually, they grew very close.

I called Aunt Fran last Friday to tell her Mom died. We talked again the next day and this time it was a little less emotional conversation. Aunt Fran asked me if we could have two flowers placed in the coffin with Mom as a sign of their special relationship. I said of course. I thought about it and said that when we would look in the coffin and see the two yellow flowers next to Mom we – the family - would know the significance of them, but outside the family many people would not. I asked Aunt Fran if she wanted to write a few sentences about the flowers and this is what she wrote:

Sisters Are Forever

Born to the same parents—that made us siblings.

Growing up in the same family—that made us sisters.

Living or lifetime of shared experiences—that made us friends.

And what a radiantly beautiful friendship it became!

Alive with a rainbow of feelings: Sunshine and shadow, happy days and sad.

I knew Mimi everyday of her life. No one else could say that.

Almost four years younger that I, she was my little sister.

I caller her Sister; no on else could say that.

As the years passed on day at a time, we came to realize what a wonderful blessing God had given us.

So now, as Mimi is laid to rest, two flowers are tucked in her casket, a token of our abiding love.

Yes, truly,

Sisters are forever.


Rich’s tribute to Mimi

Whenever Mimi Tandler got to doing something, or got to be interested in something, or decided to be something, she did it all the way.

A lot of us have interests that are a mile wide and an inch deep, dabbling in a lot of things. Others of us, like me, go deep into a limited number of subjects, an inch wide and a mile deep.

Mom was different. She was in a mile wide and a mile deep. Whatever she took on, she took on full bore. When she became the wife of a military man, she could take on everything from black tie affairs to bashes that went on until the wee hours of the morning. She was a full-time Mom to the max, guiding the four of us through our lives with a hand that was both firm and gentle.

When she wanted to create an angel doll, she dove in, going from New York to China and many spots in between to create the Awesome Angels. When decided to write a true crime story she compiled volumes and volumes of notes and transcripts, met with dozens if not hundreds of fellow writers, read shelves and shelves of books and went into the belly of the beast to interview the convicted killer.

Nutrition, tennis, her grandchildren, the McLean Welcoming group, you name it, Mom was into it up to her elbows and beyond.

When it came to music, like everything else, she had a passion. Whenever she got into a certain song, she would play it over and over and over, lifting the needle and placing it back to the beginning of the song just as it ended. Among the songs she would obsess over were Scotch and Soda by the Kingston Trio and All My Loving by the Beatles.

The one song that Mom loved that stuck in my head was Raindrops keep falling on my head by BJ Thomas. Over the past week, I've had that song going through my head, and I've been thinking about why it was special to her. A look at some of the lyrics reveals why.

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

It's like a musical version of this well-known prayer that is hung on the wall in the study that she and Dad shared.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the thing that I cannot change.
The courage to change the things that I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Mimi Tandler had the serenity, she had the strength and courage and she had the wisdom.

We're all sad, but thanks to you, Mom, we know that we're never going to stop the rain by complaining.

Tad’s tribute to Mimi

Tribute to Mom

How do you honor your life with your mother in three minutes, especially a mother like Mimi? Well, first of all, there wasn't any other mother quite like Mimi, and as we all know, she was a woman with enormously varied interests and inspirations – and wherever she was or whatever she did, it was with her total being, heart, and soul.

With passion.

On blustery November day, 15 years ago, Mom and I went to an exhibit at the National Gallery of Art. We came out of the building, it was evening rush hour, and saw a homeless woman huddling over a grate as we walked to the car. Mom was so upset at seeing this woman, we talked about it all the way home – was she a mother, where were her children, what course of events could have happened to have her end up on that metro grate, where was her family, what kind of a society do we live in that allows this type of thing to happen – ALL the way home. I dropped Mom off and went about my way, only to find out the next day that she had gone into her closet, gotten a winter coat, got into her car and drove back down to there, to give that homeless woman the coat and all the cash she had in her wallet.

That's passion.

Dancing in the living room to "Splish Splash I was Takin a Bath", "Won'tcha Come Home Bill Bailey" -- Mom and Dad took Twisting Lessons at the Air Force Academy, came straight home with the album The Bobby Darin Story, Mom taught us how to do that dance, and we wore that album OUT! Hours and Hours of dancing, we knew every single note of that album – and after that, in Fort Walton, – if we weren't water skiing, Mom and I were dancing to the Beach Boys and Beatles

That's passion!

Mom always viewed herself, and the reason she was on earth, as a work in progress, always thinking about how she could better herself and her relationships with everyone she knew. Every morning, she would write in her gratitude journal; here are a few entries:

The way the different birds have unique calls . . .

I'm thankful for Ty – he's very patient with all my quirks and foibles . . .

I'm glad someone thought of CarMax . . .

Thankful for my terrific family . . .

I'm glad I learned how to meditate and stuck with it for 31 years . . .

I'm thankful I don't feel superior to other people . . .

Grateful to god that carnations have their beautiful scent . . .

Glad there are so many beautiful places in the world to visit . . .

. . . and lastly . . .

Alstromeria – God's hieroglyph to say he loves us.

Well, Mom was God's hieroglyph to the world, showing us how to live life to its fullest, leaving no stone unturned, no question unanswered, and no feeling unfelt.

I am honored to have shared my life with hers.

And speaking of Bobby Darin, Mom and I mourned his early passing, but his music lived on in our house. What he said at the end of that album is what I think Mom might have said to us, if she'd had the opportunity to say goodbye:

"Before we wrap up this side I want to take this opportunity say thank you for making this story possible; and also I'd like to borrow a phrase from a magazine . . .

Just about here in the story they would say, 'To be continued.'

I hope so."

More of Mimi’s friends paying their respect

From Dori Humphries:

Mimi will be greatly missed by me & her many friends. She was my tennis buddy & is an important friend in my life. She & Ty were most generous with their beautiful court. It has been wonderful to share travel stories & adventures with them. Also Mimi & I enjoyed discussing & sharing books.

She was a beautiful person, a talented writer & a good friend. My thoughts & prayers are with her as she begins her spiritual journey.

Dori Humphries

From Sam Ratcliffe:

I'm the son of Becky DeShong Ratcliffe, one of your mom's cousins (Mimi was in my parents' wedding). So, consider these remarks as coming from my mom as well as from me, since she does not have a computer.

I only had the pleasure of meeting your mom a few times, most recently when she attended a surprise birthday party for one of my mom's sisters, Jenna Herrman, about ten years ago. However, the time before that when I was with her, she and your dad were a huge help to me and my wife. I was in D.C. for a professional meeting twenty years ago at Christmastime and your parents had us over to their house on our last day there then kindly took us to the airport to fly back to Dallas. I recall Mimi as gorgeous (good gracious—what a knockout photograph on the website!), funny, and charming. My wife and I had a great time with your parents and I wish that distance hadn't prevented us from getting to know them better. She was one of my mom's many relatives who I'd heard about my whole life so it was good to finally be able to visit with her, albeit for those few hours. Among other bits of Washington lore, she and your dad introduced us to the term "Beltway bandit."

My dad passed away three years ago this past May so I have at least some inkling of your and your family's sense of loss. You all are in the thoughts and prayers of me, my wife, and my mother right now.

From Rev. Msgr. Leo A. Kelty:

I had the good fortune to meet, and speak with Mimi many times, especially around the year 1999 when I discovered through Ty that Mimi was design ing and marketing those great dolls! Since I have been retired for six years, I do not recall all the details, but as pastor, I decided that it would be beneficial, at Ty and Mimi's suggestion (and also that of my dear cousin, Vince Kelty!) to acquire the dolls for a fundraiser to offset the costs of our new church, St. William, in Howell, NJ (where I now reside in retirement). My Parish Council also agreed, and as a result of the transactions, we were able to raise a generous sum for the new church. We sold all of 300 dolls! The kids, as well as the parents, loved the idea.

My deepest sympathy and prayerful reflections go out to Ty and the family. I've always enjoyed immensely the times we have been together socially - dinners and parties- and the great lunches with "the gang" at Serbian Crown. Many thanks, Ty, for your friendship, and the opportunty to have encountered the wonderful Mimi!

(Rev. Msgr.) Leo A. Kelty ("Leo")

From Laura and Dave Doty:

Dear Tandlers,

We are all so saddened by the loss of Mimi - so glad we got together in Middleburg! What a delight she was. I always looked forward to our many trips to DC when a visit to the Tandlers was included. I remember shopping with my mom and Mimi in Georgetown for my first prom dress in the late 60's - we always did good shopping with Meem. She will be greatly missed by many, especially my mom.


Laura and Dave Doty

From Mickey Downey:

It gave me such a feeling of sadness to receive word that sweet Mimi had left us so suddenly. I had the privilege of getting to know her through McLean Newcomers, especially through the monthly coffees she'd arrange at Star Nut Cafe. She was a beautiful presence, a gracious lady with a smile that embraced everyone, and an ear for whatever the topic of conversation. For me, her voice had a distinctive melody to it, one that I remember so well from just a few short weeks ago. Life gives us gifts. Mimi will remain one.

With sadness over her passing, joy for having met her along life's journey, and deepest condolences to you, her treasured family,

Mickey Downey

McLean Newcomers

From Mary Ann Grove:

I first met Mimi at a Newcomers meeting, and I felt that I'd known her forever! I'll always remember her wonderful spontaneous smile and the twinkle in her eyes. I particularly enjoyed the 4 p.m. coffee get-togethers at the Palladium, which she co-hosted. I will surely miss her, as will so many others whose lives she touched. My sincere condolences to the family.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Please join us for a celebration of Mimi's life

Thank you for coming here. We appreciate the kind thoughts and prayers of Mimi's many friends. They mean more to us than you will ever know.

There will be a visitation on Thursday, July 17 from 5:00 to 8:00 PM.

Money and King Funeral Home
171 West Maple Ave.
Vienna, VA 22180

A funeral service will be held the following day, Friday, July 18 at 11:00

St. John's Episcopal Church
6715 Georgetown Pike
McLean, VA 22101

Please join us for a gathering immediately following at the Tandler residence:

1012 Dead Run Drive
McLean, VA 22101

Interment will be at Arlington National Cemetary on August 26th at 1:00.

Feel free to post a comment on this site sharing your favorite memory of Mimi.

Again, thank you and we look forward to seeing you at the services.

More thoughts on Mimi

From Stanley and Barbara Rivers:

Mimi was a most gracious, kind and thoughtful person. Barbara and I always enjoyed her sense of humor and ability to find something positive in any situation. Mimi was always busy but, found time for friendly conversation and helpful advice. Our lunch outings and holiday celebrations were great pleasures. Mimi will be sorely missed.

Stanley and Barbara Rivers

From Hillary:

Aunt Mimi. I still can't believe you are gone and I hate the fact that i didn't get to come visit you in June when my mom came up. You were an amazing person and i'm blessed to have your namesake. I love you very much and i know that you will be our Angel looking out for us. Give Winkie a big kiss for me!

From Noreen Wald:

Your beautiful and talented mother was my student and my friend. Like many others, I thought her book was wonderful.

Steve and I are so very sorry and so very sad. We send you and your family our love and our prayers.

Please tell your Dad, Ty, that we hold him close in our hearts and remember him in our prayers.


From Betty Fraser:

Dear Tandler family,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I also knew her from the newcomers club, Mclean racquet club and tennis. Mimi was always so lovely and warm to everyone. She was the mark for all of us to have the grace and beauty at every age. Loved seeing her and as so many friends have said, we are better because we knew her. What a wonderful friend and we will always remember her graceful ways.

Love, Betty Fraser

From Lesleigh Cook:

Dearest, Dearest Mimi,
We met under such unusual circumstances but our friendship blossomed and you became such a wonderful friend, confidant, and surrogate mom. How I miss our little get-togethers over lunch at Clydes, my house, your house, or wherever! I will never forget your gentle soul and your thirst for life and adventure. I see you pushing your hair up and away from your face, that twinkle in your eye, and I can hear your little impish giggle. Thank you for all of your love, advice, hugs, phone calls, and special birthday and Christmas treats. You were and still are my "Angel".

My love to Ty and Tad, and to Mimi's sons whom I never had the honor of meeting but heard so many loving stories about.

I shall miss you, Mimi, and will keep you in my heart forever.

Lesleigh Cook

From Jean and Charlie Mertz:

Mimi will be remembered by a lot of different people for a lot of different things but I think we all have the same basic feeling that she was interested in knowing us and what we thought about things. She had an inquisitive mind and had an uncanny ability to separate the wheat from the chaff. But most of all when Mimi was your friend, you knew you had a true friend.

During our Wednesday evening dinners at the McLean Family Restaurant she used to delight in bringing unique stories, newspaper articles or other bits of trivia for "Show and Tell". There were even funny old jokes that she resurrected from somewhere. We all enjoyed the spirit of sharing that she brought with her to add a little humor or new thoughts to our lives. Just won't be the same without her.

It is with great sorrow that we acknowledge that Mimi is not with us physically, but she will live on in our hearts and we are truly thankful that we had the chance to know her. Our thoughts and prayers are with Ty and his family at this difficult time.

Jean and Charlie Mertz

From Catherine Nesbit:

Thank you so much for keeping me in the loop at this difficult time. I remember when my father died suddenly of a massive heart attack at 63 while out for his daily bicycle ride. Like Dad, Mimi left too soon. I know there is supposed to be some divine design here, but it still feels like there was a mistake. Like it was supposed to be someone else who was more ready to go, closer to the end. Mimi's death is another reminder of how very fragile life is. It reminds us yet again that we often don't have control and that life is not a dress rehearsal.

Mimi, was so full of life. It's sad to say goodbye.

With deep sympathy and hugs,


From Marjorie Lewis:

I met Mimi through the McLean Newcomers and immediately I appreciated her smile and her sincere welcome to the group. The offer to come and hit the tennis ball regardless of ability was my introduction to the family. Mimi made things easy for everyone at those tennis mornings, and Ty shared the patio, reading the newspaper and occasionally answering some tennis questions.

At Newcomer's meetings, Mimi's quiet positivism and relaxed ways made her a magnate for many of us - one of those folks you just enjoy being with. I will mourn Mimi and miss her presence.

Marjorie Lewis

From Peggy Hanson:

I always enjoyed meeting Mimi and Ty at Mystery Writers events. Sometimes we went out in a group after a lecture, where we discussed the problems of writing, issues about the Navy (hope that's the right branch, Ty!)and amused observations on life. Mimi's bright smile and intense interest in life and in writing brought joy to those of us lucky enough to know her. I am in China now, but thinking of your whole family, especially of that calm, authoritative Ty as he deals with this loss.

Peggy Hanson

From Betty and Bob:

We will always remember and love Mimi. She was a great woman – wife, mother, grandmother and dear friend. We smile through our tears as we recall what a truly beautiful person she was – to look at and to know. We treasure our friendship and the many good times we shared – at Redskin games, social gatherings, and our annual January get together with the "old gang" – which she always organized so well.

It was fun doing Capital Speakers together. We enjoyed laughing about our way of speaking, particularly Betty's southern drawl. We love the inflection in Mimi's voice and her way of speaking – which still echoes with us. She spoke well. Her beauty, brightness, thoughtfulness, creativity, and caring spirit impacted positively on all of us who were fortunate enough in our lives to know her – and have her as our friend.

We admired her intellectual curiosity and sense of adventure. While I'm sure there were, no doubt, many projects Mimi ventured on that we didn't know about, I recall how she was interested in following and writing about the trial of a man who was accused of killing his wife. She was a good "detective" on the case. Once, too, I recall she designed and made dolls. She obviously was a person who enjoyed life and lived life fully.

She leaves a lovely legacy in her family and in the way she lived her life. She was truly and incredible person. Mimi was very much loved and will be forever missed.

Our deepest sympathy and love to you Ty and all your children and grandchildren.

Betty and Bob Brown

From Dan and Jane McGrath

We will always remember Mimi and her vivacious, charming, and warm friendship. Of the many good times we had with her, the one that will be among the foremost in memory is the annual croquet tournaments that our group enjoyed. In June 2001, Mimi won the tournament, and she was so excited and thrilled to have beaten all of the athletes. She was an absolute delight.

We offer our profound condolences to Ty and to all the Tandler family.

Dan and Jane McGrath

From Lee Claytor:

I am so deeply sorrowful at Mrs. Tandler's passing. The Tandlers were one of my first customers years ago, when I first pursued self-employment. Even in times when I delved into other career interests, we kept in touch. I never felt like the guy who was there to fix things, but more like a friend or family member. Mimi always took the time to inquire about my life and usually fed me lunch during my work day. Her positive, upbeat nature was something I always looked forward to and she was most definitely my favorite customer. I can't imagine how she will be missed by those that were closest to her, but as for me, I will always remember her for the amazing person she was.

Lee Claytor

Monday, July 14, 2008

More tributes to Mimi from her friends

From Chris Bova:

Let me say how terribly sorry I am to learn of your lovely Mom's passing away.  It's been several years since I saw she and the Colonel, at Home Depot.  I vividly recall how tolerant and accommodating she was at our antics.  She obviously had style and striking looks, and also seemed to take a genuine interest in our activities and well-being.  The house was always open to us and we delighted in that dynamic.  It remains to this day the grandest party house in the mean streets of McLean's storied history, and for that we are all most grateful.  At the risk of repeating myself, I am still amused that she only knew me as BOVA for several years until learning I had a first name.  I love that, as it implied a certain familiarity and kinship with me.   Please know your Mom made a lasting and significant impact on the youth of McLean, and evidently knew plenty about raising children, old pal.  That's not a contribution too many people can claim.  She truly had the right stuff and exhibited as much through her dignity, charm, and good old fashion kinship and humor.  Do the best you can under these terribly difficult conditions and please extend my deepest sympathies and respects to the Colonel, Tad, Bobby, and John.  Bov

From Bonner Menking:

I was shocked to hear about Mimi's passing.  My deepest condolences to Ty and the rest of her family.

I first met Mimi at a local Mystery Writers of America dinner – the December holiday party.  In the dim lighting, I listened as this petite, well-turned-out Virginia lady told me about interviewing a real-life murderer.  Alone.  For a book.  Only my own Southern mother's training kept my jaw from falling in astonishment.  Since that day, over five years ago, I came to know Mimi and Ty better through classes, dinners, and writers' conferences.  I never ceased to be astonished by Mimi's sweetness, her curiosity, and her guts.

The DC mystery-writing community will miss Mimi and shares this terrible loss to her family.  Our prayers are with you.

Bonner Menking

From Don and Donna Pattison:

We first med Mimi in the early sixties.  The first words that I remember from Mimi,as Ty crashed on the beach was "want to sky".  Lots of stories come to mind as Donna and I shared life with the Tandlers.  We had a joint garage sale at our house.  Tandler kids bought the Pattison kids stuff and vise versa.  It was my last garage sale.  I made $11.00 not counting the 3 cases of beer that Ty and I consumed.  We later bought time shares together at Hilton Head and enjoyed sharing the units with friends for many years.  The no "seeums" finally got to Mimi and they sold their unit.  We really missed them. Many stories, lots of tennis,some golf.  Lots of thoughts of the fun with the Tandlers come to mind, but for now our thoughts and prayers are with you all Ty, Tad, Rich, Bob and John (the worlds smallest tackle). 

Don & Donna Pattison:

From Sandi Wilson:

First, my profound sympathies to your father Ty, whom I adore, and to you, your brothers and sisters, and all your families."

When Noreen Wald, our excellent teacher and great friend, introduced me to Mimi several years ago, my first thought was that she was breathtakingly lovely. As she and I became friends and saw each other regularly at MWA meetings and the Mystery Book Club, I realized that beauty ran through her, both inside and out. She was funny, quick, talented, kind, generous, giving without expecting anything back, always happy to be right where she was (usually with Ty whom I call "Mr. Mimi") and doing whatever she was doing, never in a hurry, easy to be with and chat with, a true and genuine person, dedicated to writing The Great Non-Fiction Mystery.

I will miss Mimi's gorgeous smile and magnificent style. She is a classy lady in every way.

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."


With love and affection,

Sandi Wilson

the blonde in black

From Bill and Bettie Curry:

We are shocked and saddened by the loss of Mimi.  What a vibrant "with it" lady.  She was interested in everything and everyone; the latest health item, dolls, writing and food.  We had great fun and memories.

She will be missed.  Our condolences to the family and our prayers are with you.

Bill and Bettie Curry

From Betty Nibley:

I can't imagine life without Mimi. She and Ty have been a part of my life since the Air Force Acadmy days, McLean years including Vietnam years. I always counted on her to know how to do something or to know someone who would! She knew everybody. I went to aerobics today and mentioned the Tandler name and right away a fellow exerciser said "I know Mimi through Mystery Book Club!" I'm quite sure she has already figured out a way to communicate and has read all these messages and knows everybody up there and how to get things done the best way. We'll miss you, Mimi.

Betty Nibley

From Curt Laub:

As Rich will attest, I wasn't even half the Skins fan as his Mom, but I was a huge Mimi fan. In high school, the Tandler house was a fascinating, fun, loving place to hang out- one always felt sheltered there. In spite of raucous and bad behavior that other parents would not tolerate, Mimi and Ty were always welcoming. And they gave us Rich. I'd say she done good.
Rich, sorry to hear.

Curt Laub

From Betty and Fred Means:

A number of years ago Mimi invited me to join her Wednesday afternoon tennis team. We would finish late, tired and hot. No one wanted to go home and fix dinner so we began our weekly custom of having dinner together at the McLean Family Restaurant - and family is what we became. We have many other wonderful memories of times shared together - trips, holiday parties, pot luck dinners, tennis games and coffee in their back yard. Mimi's warm personality, infectious smile and sparkling eyes will always be with us as she lives on through us.

Betty and Fred Mears

From Bill Luck:

I learned today of Mimi's death from my late cousin Kappy Meharg's husband, Louis.

I only met Mimi, my second cousin, a few times when I was very young and she made a lasting impression on me. I met her at I.B. Hicks home in Fort Worth. I don't remember how old she was at the time, but I remember how nice she was to a young boy. I.B. Mimi and Fran went out of their way to make us feel at home. My mother, Teddy Hagendoorn Luck, was so fond of Mimi and spoke often of the good times they had together growing up. In looking at her picture I now realize how much Mimi and Teddy favored each other.

Please know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers.

With Love from your cousin,

William (Bill) Luck

From Rosemary and Ken Coskey:

Dear Tandler Family,

Ken and I are sincerely and deeply saddened at the loss of our friend, Mimi. I can only echo the many eloquent thoughts and feelings others have already expressed. She will be greatly missed by so many of us who had the good fortune of knowing her.

When I think of Mimi, one of my memories is of the times we'd see each other at some event and immediately recognize our outfits as being almost matching, as though we'd coordinated in advance. We often wore the same colors—white, black, red, and gray. We had the same gray hair, cut much the same way. In one photo of us together at a tailgate party, we are wearing identical black blazers with gold buttons. We look so much alike I have to look at the faces to see who is who. In fact, there were a few times when people thought I was a sister or relation of Mimi's – something I found very flattering indeed.

This is a trivial memory but perhaps it is something a little different from the experience of others. There is so much more to remember about Mimi. She was one of a kind—bright, vibrant, fun, endlessly interesting. And she will not be forgotten!

Our sympathy and love go out to our good friend Ty, and to all members of the Tandler family. We hope the memories of happy times comfort and sustain you all.

Rosemary & Ken Coskey




Sunday, July 13, 2008

Mimi’s friends talk about her

From John and Ann Streit:

Mimi, how we will miss you. There have been so many wonderful times we've shared together, going back so many years, and in so many places.

There was waterskiing on Cinco Bayou, partying at Milord's in Bangkok, so much to remember on Rupert Street in McLean, Redskins, point-to-point races in the Virginia countryside and how much fun the kids all had together.

But most of all we will remember and miss your warmth, humor, sharp awareness of the world around you, your compassion for others and your energy and enthusiasm for life.
Our thoughts and prayers are always with you.

John and Ann

From Karin Shipman:

It is with great sadness that I receive the news of my cousin's death. Louis Meharg, my late twin's widower forwarded Tad's e-mail to me. The last time I saw you, Ty, and Mimi was at my mother's ninetieth birthday ten years ago. We all appreciated the time and effort that it took for you to come to El Paso for that event. I have a picture of the whole family group in my living room.

Just the other day I was thinking of the beautiful memorials that Mimi offered for my mother and my sister by signing the book of condolences at the National Cathedral. Kappy died in 1986, and Mama died in 2001. Mimi was a thoughtful, beautiful person with a beautiful soul.

I remember her when my mother, sisters and I visited the Hicks family when I was about nine years-old. Mimi was so sweet to us, letting us play in her room. Our aunt let Kappy and me go through all the records that she received while writing her column for the Fort Worth Star Telegram. Also, I remember how excited Kappy and I were when Mimi and Fran "handed down" their cashmere coats to us when we were in high school. Their mother "sponsored" me when I joined the Episcopal Church, and their father was the only person who ever played zither solo for us. While we did not see each other much, the Hicks meant so very much to us. The whole family was pretty special.

Please accept my deepest sympathy and know that my heart is with all of you.

With love from your cousin,


From Mike MacDonald:

I first met Ty and Mimi as a 2 Lt at Eglin in 1963. What a charming and vivacious woman she was. And it seemed to me that she and Ty went out of their way to include young single officers in social activities that broadened their perspectives of Air Force life. I can confess that as that truly immature young man, I had a secret crush on Mimi because she represented to me the kind of partner I hoped to have in my future life.

I last saw Mimi and Ty at John Gulick's funeral. And she was still a wonderful and gracious woman. I recall her telling me about research she had been doing regarding a murder trial that had evoked her interest, and as she talked her eyes lit up: it was apparent that she fully intended to get to the bottom of the mystery the trial presented.

Mimi and Ty represented the best sort of a married team. Always mutually supportive. And always drawing in to their circle of friends so many personalities and people of diverse talents and interests.

Mimi is gone now, but her influence on so many of our lives still continues.

I extend my sincere condolences to Ty, Tad, and Rich. Warmest regards,

Mike MacDonald, Maj USAF, Ret.

From Rita and Joe Laccetti

Rita and I were terribly upset and saddened by the news of Mimi's passing. We send you and your family our deepest condolences. We will always remember her vibrant personality and her zest for life. She was always gracious and warm to every one who met her.

Ty: If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know.

Our best to you.

Rita and Joe Laccetti

From Stan and Barbara Rivers:

Mimi was a most gracious, kind and thoughtful person. Barbara and I always enjoyed her sense of humor and ability to find something positive in any situation. Mimi was always busy but, found time for friendly conversation and helpful advice. Our lunch outings and holiday celebrations were great pleasures. Mimi will be sorely missed.

Stanley and Barbara Rivers

From Patrick Hyde:

Mimi was a great person and a supportive fellow-writer. She bought the first copy of my first novel. I always enjoyed seeing Mimi and Ty and MWA-MA dinners and had great times with them down in Florida at Sleuthfest. My deepest sympathies to Ty and the rest of Mimi's family.

Patrick Hyde

From Dorothy Hassan:

I first met Mimi years ago through my furniture painting business. Imagine my surprise to meet her again in my class at the Writer's Center. We attended several events together,and I particularly enjoyed one trip we made to the Metropolitan Museum of Art with Ty when we were up there for the Edgars.

I remember Mimi as always sweet, always kind, a fine writer, and a free spirit. How sad to think we won't meet again.

My deepest sympathy to Ty and the family, who I know were so close to her heart.

From Mimie Marum:

Dear Tandler Family,
I am shocked and saddened by the terrible news. I knew Mimi through Newcomers. We did not share many activities, but I did stop fairly regularly at the Palladium for Thursday afternoon coffee. What bonds me to Mimi is that we share the same first name, although I spell mine Mimie. That e at the end has caused me much grief. I have known only one other Mimi, my God-daughter, so when I met your Mimi, it was strange to hear MY name said. That NEVER happens. Therefore I felt a connection that your Mimi probably didn't know about. I didn't tell her, which I regret. I recently found out that I am to be a grandmother. I plan to be Mimi ,with an e or not, to my granddaughter. Mimi will always be special to me.

Please accept my sincerest condolences,

Mimie Marum

From the Tidd Family:

Aunt Mimi - we loved you so and will miss your smile and unique take on life. Our love to Uncle Ty, Tad, Rich, Bob, John and your families. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Carolyn, Mike, Matt and Brandy and Hillary

From Audrey Liebross:

Mimi was one of my friends from Noreen Wald's writing class and from Sisters in Crime. We enjoyed exchanging ideas for our books and critiquing each other's work. I am shocked and saddened to hear of her passing. I will miss her.

Audrey Liebross

From Linda Kearns:

Having met Mimi at some of our Newcomers Club activities, I will remember her ever present cheerfulness and smiling face. You just knew she was a kind, thoughtful and generous person and someone that you wanted to get to know better. Our club's thoughts and prayers are with your family. We will miss her very much.

Linda Kearns

From Sally Tilson:

Forty years of friendship. Neighbors in McLean. Kids went to school together. USMA Class '50. The Redskin parties. The annual "mother-daughter" luncheons that eventually included whole families, and so much more. Ty and all the Tandlers are in our thoughts and prayers as we mourn Mimi's passing.

From Nancy:

Mimi was the most unique employer/friend anyone could hope for. Always ready with her Nancy's List, but was always accommodating. The lists were really made up of "Hope to Do" or "Let's try and Do Today" and "Might do if we get around to it." And the "Future to Do". I was always greeted with a smile and a hug. And that's how I ended my day with Mimi, a smile and a hug.

In the years that I had the pleasure of helping her and Ty I truly appreciated the intelligent, sophicated special gal she was and got to know some of her favorite things. I know the list is forever but here are a few I would like to share that made me love and adore her:
Ty, Children, Grandchildren and Friends, Flowers, buying, planting and arranging them, reseaching and writing her book, reading a good book, a clean, sparkly bathtub, the color blue, hand pressed coffee, avacodos, tennis, Christmas and decorating the house, the flowered sofa in the family room, zebras, the baby birds in her old christmas wreaths out front, polished silver, a conversation (about anything), Talladega Nights, finding a new receipe for almond flour, old family receipes, traditions, making the bunny cake for Easter, putting out the Easter Egg tree, trips to Europe, shopping and finding bargains with Tad, and of course finding a little spot on the wall for another picture of family.

I'm a better person for knowing you Mimi, you helped me through rough waters and to stay on my journey. You will always be in my heart. YOU WERE THE BOMB!!!

Love Nancy

From Lynda S. Hill:

I met Mimi about five years ago at the Writer's Center in Bethesda, Maryland. I took an instant liking to Mimi's bright personality and humor.

We took classes together for several years with published author Noreen Wald. Mimi was an unusually nice person. She made me feel like I was somebody.

This past March she called and asked if I was attending the April Malice Domestic conference for mystery writers. I told her I was dying to go, but the ticket was too expensive -- maybe next year.

I'll never forget her asking, "Would you like my ticket?"
She explained that she had already purchased one, was unable to go, and that I should use her ticket.

What a dear. I went to that conference and had a wonderful time, especially since it came as a gift from a friend.

It is a terrible shock to hear Mimi is gone. I will say a prayer for her, and for her family, who must miss her terribly.

Lynda S. Hill

From Kelley Wilhelm:

I met Mimi through my mother. There is a blessing that comes out of each tragedy, and Mimi was one of the blessings that came out of my Nana's death. For that is how my mother met Mimi.

I knew in an instant that Mimi was a charming, talented, and intelligent woman. I learned this even further after working for her during a few of my college years. She was always a delight and always up for a good story.

She will be greatly missed, but more-so, fondly remembered. My thoughts are with her family and close friends during this time.

Kelley Wilhelm


It appears that some are having issues posting comments. We changed some settings to try to make it easier but if you'd rather just email them to me at you can do that and I'll post them up here.


Hotel possibility

There are many hotels in close driving distance from the Tandler home in McLean. We have found that the Marriott Courtyard at Tysons Corner has availability and reasonable rates (around $100 per night).

You can make reservations on their website.

Here is the address and phone if you would prefer to go that route.

1960-A Chain Bridge Road
McLean, VA 22102
(703) 790-0207

Note: You will get a much better rate if you book for Thursday and Friday night. Thursday night alone carries a relatively steep rate. We are looking into reserving block of rooms for this, check back here for information.


This is something that I posted on my Redskins page.

Some of you reading this blog have met my father, Ty. He's been to Hogfest a time or two and some of you have met him at our tailgate.

Only a few of you have met my mother Mimi. She was the one who let Dad and I engage in all of these Redskins-related activities for 40+ years.

Mimi died suddenly on Friday.

She had been feeling a bit under the weather the past few days and she was in bed on Friday. Dad brought her breakfast late in the morning and after she ate it he let her go back to sleep. He came in to check on her a little while later and she was gone.

Mom wasn't a big Redskins fan, but she always pulled for them. She paid attention; when we got home from a game she always knew if the Skins had won or lost and she would always chat a bit about the game. It meant something to her because she knew it meant a lot to Dad and me.

She had her favorites. Clinton Portis was one because of his impish personality and she appreciated the grace of Santana Moss' moves. And, of course, she recognized the special qualities that Coach Joe possessed.

Of course, this aspect just scratches the surface when it comes to Mimi Tandler. She was a special lady in many, many ways.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Family contact information


1012 Dead Run Drive
McLean, VA 22101


6842 Elm Street, #203
McLean, VA 22101


5705 Laurel Trail Rd
Midlothian, VA 23112


3954 Russell Blvd.
St. Louis, MO 63110


15813 W. 66th Circle
Arvada, CO 80007

Check here for details on Mimi's funeral arrangements.